11 totally illegal things you've probably done at least once (2024)

1.Stealing sweets from the Pick 'n' Mix.

Because 7-year-old you didn't give a toss about Woolworths' revenue. LOOK AT IT NOW. That's on you.

2.Downloading music.

Oh you're upgrading to aniPod with more memory forthose thousands oflegally purchased songs? Likely story.

3. Lying to supermarket self service machines.

Did you press '40p bread roll' when what you ACTUALLY put in your bag was a £2.50 Krispy Kreme?We're onto you, you sick, sick criminal.

4.Streaming TV shows.

You just couldn't wait to see that next episode of Game of Thrones, could you? You absolute savage.

5.Singing happy birthday.

CURVE BALL. The choon you were sang annually since birth is actually copyrighted, and any public performance of it is illegal. Your family probably owe thousands in royalties.No wonder you were raised to live sucha life of crime.

6.Eating something before you've bought it at thesupermarket

We saw you pop that grape in your mouth, andeat that extra olive so you could jam the plastic lid down on the pot, Thiefy Thieferson. Go sit on the naughty step.

7.Using someone else's WiFi

Thought you'd hack the system by loitering near Starbucks for dat free WiFi? Or signed onto a randomer's WiFi because they were stupid enough not to password-protect it?Unauthorised use of any WiFi service is illegal and can carry up to two years in prison. Maybe checking Facebook can wait.

8.Underage drinking

Does behindthat bike shed at the Year 10 disco ring a bell? Probably not, because you weretrashed on Hooch. We're not angry, we're just disappointed.

9.Using a fake name online

According to the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act, using afake name anywhereonline is illegal. You're lucky your kOoKy Myspace name didn't land you in the slammer.

10.Selling on eBay without declaring your $$

We've all had a wardrobe clear-out to make way for lovely new things, but how many of us big fat tax evadershave actually declared those earnings to the tax man? Anyone? Anyone at all? Is this thing on?

11.Getting pissed

Contrary to popular belief of anyone everon a UK high street past 11pm, it's actually illegal to be intoxicated in a public place. Oops.

And it's as easy as THAT for perfectly nice people to becomegiant criminals.

f*ck DA POLICE!Ooh, hi officer, didn't see you there, have a fab day :)